Do you like your art?

More, and more recently with me being more active with my photography, and of course having more time to give my photography more attention I am noticing my response to my artwork.

Does every artist doubt their work? Do they question whether they can in fact call what they create, art? Is me asking these questions, doubting my ability, or is it me being humble? I can't call it. I'm never sure. There is a fine line between self doubt, and being humble. At least I think so.

Do arrogant artists exist? At face value that question seems really silly, right? Well, I don't think so, simply because I know quite a few artists that love painting, drawing, photographing, and so on, and they want to make a living doing what they love, but are never quite sure if they can succeed and make a living doing the those things. They love what they do, but never know if others will too.

I absolutely fall in love with some of my photos...well let me correct myself there...I love pretty much all my photos. Even the bad ones, the bad ones are needed to get better. They keep me shooting till I get that perfect shot I saw in my head. I've always taken pictures. It's just part of who I am. I have a few creative mediums, but photography is the one thing that is truly special to me. When I was younger I never thought "I wanna be a photographer!" To be honest growing up I never thought about what I wanted to be when I "grew up". My parents never really asked me. Buffalo, the town that is it, and the rough life my parents had, their goal for me was simple- Graduate HIGH SCHOOL! It may seem like a ridiculous thing, or too small of a goal, but where I'm from that doesn't happen as often as it should. Starting my own fine art photography business never really dawned on me till someone actually said, "hey, did you ever consider selling your photos?" That question, even though I don't remember who that person was that asked, stayed with me for weeks. I thought about it constantly. It made me think if I actually considered myself a photographer. I never really did. I was just a regular girl that liked to take pictures. I was more of a video professional, not a still photographer. I kept thinking, and looking over all of my photos. I wasn't sure. At this particular time, I was doing more film, and video work, and fitting in a still photography career was crazy talk! I kept on with the film, and video gigs, but I continued to take photos and wonder about the photography world that wasn't weddings, and portrait studios.

This confusion, or whatever you want to call it that was happening in my head was constant! Quite annoying too. I was in this constant state of wonder, so I began to research markets, and all types of photography. Thats when I found out...Yes! There's actually a market for what I do!! I did all of this research quietly. My boyfriend at the time didn't really have any idea what I was up to, but he always gave me such positive feedback on my photos. My family as well. Now, in my book those types of people do not count toward the validation needed for an artist. They all loved me....how would they tell me that my photography actually sucked? Who does that to their loved ones?? I knew they were going to tell me what I wanted to hear. Even though they always say, "Amber, if it was horrible I would tell you." Well, when you love someone you have the blinders on. I'm sure everyone knows what I mean.

Working on the ship being a videographer, I was surrounded by photographers too. We would always take tons of pictures, show off what we took,  and give feedback. It's what us nerdy photogs do! I kept getting positive feedback from them, and from most that I wasn't close to. The more distant of a relationship I had with someone, and the more positive, or the more they praised my photos, the more validating it was for me to believe: Yes, I take great photos.

I finished my contract on the Cruise ship, I came home to my parents for a couple of months. I always liked sitting down, and talking to my parents about everything, this time being no different. My mother hated how I was so far away while doing the cruise ship contracts, my dad too for that matter. If they had things their way I'd always live at home. My mom wanted me off the ship. She would always say, "Amber, you need to buckle down, and get a real job." Insulting as that sounds, and however upset I got from it then, I knew she was right. I was scared to bring up the photography thing. I always showed my parents all of my photos. They loved them. They would pick out their favorites, or tell me which ones they didn't care for. But overall they would say they were all great. I had the thought that I wanted to start selling my photos for awhile ever since that one person asked me if i'd considered it. To actually say it out loud was scary. I thought that people would think I was ridiculous.

I took the plunge, and I told my parents that I wanted to sell my photos, do the art festival circuit, and eventually enter work to galleries down the line. I had it all laid out in my head. My parents aren't in that kind of business, but they are involved in what I want to do and ask from time to time how everything is. My mom couldn't stop suggesting weddings. I'm sorry, but I don't want to make a career out of weddings/events. I can shoot them, don't mind them either, but I don't want it to be my focus.

My sister was great, she supported me in all of this. She helped me get a lot of this planned out. Helped me focus on a number of business items I needed to address. She was behind me 100%. That to me was great. Hell, she bought my domain name for me. Which yeah, its not a lot of money, but it was the first step to a giant thing for me. It was a push I needed at the time.

All the while I still am doubting if I can really make this happen. Can I sell my photos? Will strangers like my work? Are people going to feel the way I felt when they look at a certain photo? Not only those questions about my so-called audience/buyers, but my peers! What are other photographers going to say, or think? How do I stack up against them? Is my work "professional" enough?

Sometimes, I still feel like that at times, but I stopped caring. I have to trust myself. Once I was true to myself, and not nervous about how people were going to see my work, I actually got better. I felt it was more me, or at least I felt I developed a style.

A problem I have now is picking certain photos to print and frame for shows. I never know what to select! It's frustrating. I always ask people what are their favorite photos of mine. Thats helps, but its always funny to me because its always something I never expect people to pick. I have a few that I just obsess over. Like the one below. One of my all time favs!! Mainly because I love the dark purple! I know everyone wont like this one.

Everyone likes the original red one instead.

It took me a long time to realize that whole idea of how people are not going to like the ones I like. I also find it funny how some people end up seeing what I haven't put on my website, and they say "Oh, my goodness that's beautiful." Than it makes me take a second look. That's what actually happened with this one below.

I took the picture for a reason. I saw something. I felt something. For some reason I thought no one would like it. My boyfriend is really into that grunge-y, more abandoned style, and he really like this one above, so when I took a second look at my inventory I found this one below. I felt like I made a re-discovery. Sometimes when I take certain photos they are too dark for some people to like. But that just means I have to come into my own as an artist, be comfortable with my style, and who I am as a person.

Do I like my art? When I am alone, and looking at my photos I'm absolutely in love with everything I do on a photography stance. When people start looking at my work...that's another matter. The self doubt starts. I have to be confident, but I don't want to get cocky, ya know? I have to realize that not everyone is going to like what I do. Thats a given, but I also have to not down play my talent, or my eye for things in this world. I have to be proud of what I create. I love it, so I have to be proud. Duh, Amber!!  For other artists out there remember that you can't make everyone happy, so just start with yourself, and things will start to piece together the way you want it to!

Photo Books

I feel like photo books are a tricky thing. I don't know why though. Being an established photographer is hard enough, than having to deal with your work being published? I feel like thats a ton more work in an area unknown to me. Which just reminds me to research, and find out how this happens! ***Motivation in play.***

When I am in a book store I'm pretty sure I always end up looking at all these photo books. I love photography so, why not look at other artists work? It would be stupid not to. And that is why we as photographers take photos, to share what we saw!! I guess it is a sort of respect I have for other photographers. To actually look at their work, take it in, and think about what I am looking at.

My boyfriend happened to show me a book he had, and he said it was something he thought would interest me. It was a photo book, and a small one at that. I initially did the "oh, no." Don't ask me why I had such a weird reaction to this photo book at first glance.

The book is called "The Regulars."

Sarah Stolfa


The intro was hilarious only because it was so realistic with Jonathan Franzen's distaste for Philadelphia, and he wasn't afraid to show it. I liked the portraits. However, I must mention that portrait photography is not my thing at all. It's not my preferred style of photography at all. When I think of portrait photography I think of studio lighting, backdrops, sales, crappy poses, and the forced smile that one is supposed to make when the photographer says: "SMILE!" I'm into capturing someone naturally, avoiding the "Ham" aspect of portraits. I tend not to want to take pictures of camera-whores. People who throw up the some crazy fingers meaning whatever the hell it's supposed to mean, the duck faces, and the other crazy faces that are made to make pictures ridiculous. I am in love with photos where the subjects don't even realize they are being photographed. They happen to be in the zone at the moment, or truly have no idea a camera is around. When a person is aware that the camera is there I think it affects the outcome immediately. There are some grey areas to that though. If you have a person that honestly does not care if a camera is in front of them or not, and they can truly be themselves regardless...than my friends, you may have some special subjects! I get that feeling when I look at the portraits in this photo book. You can feel the real-ness of the photos. You can feel the stress of the day that the subject had that particular day, even the great day they had, or just how a certain subject looks at life. I found myself feeling a different way when looking at each portrait. I'd say she did a great job just based on my emotions alone.

A photo book has been something I have thought of, but thats an adventure I would have to thoroughly look into. I'd love to have my own work published! That'd be amazing to be quite honest. Although, sometimes I feel like I'm still an infant when it comes to being a photographer.

There is some research to be done, and I intend to look into this.

Organizing an Art Show

I wanted to give an update on my involvement in the Salmagundi club. This fine art club has a lot of committees. Since I am a new scholarship member I wanted to join the Junior/Scholarship member committee. I think being in a club like this one should be as active as possible. Yes, I am going to use the cliché phrase: “What you put into it is what you get out of it.” This phrase definitely rings true. I think, if you are accepted into a great club like this why not be as involved and as active as you can in EVERYTHING you can?

The committee basically decides what happens with the Junior/Scholarship members, for example putting on shows, setting up events, networking opportunities, I know you get it. A lot goes on. 

I was voted into Salmagundi in February of this year, and I went to the first General club meeting in April (any, and all members) than I was at the first Junior/scholarship committee meeting just this past June.  The committee head, Patricia Wynne, who, I will say is such a sweet woman. Her enthusiasm is contagious, and I love it! She mentioned how she had an opportunity to have our work in a gallery in NYC, because the owner had a block of time with no scheduled shows! This to me was a giant big deal. For those that might not understand why, I’ll explain.

Being a fine artist, and tapping into the realm of trying to get people to see, and buy your work is very hard. You need as much exposure as you can! That means art shows, art festivals, galleries, web contests, anything! There’s a lot of different ways to get your work seen.  I think a lot of fine artists want to make a living off their artwork, right? Well, getting your work in art shows, exhibitions, and galleries is one way to do it. 

I jumped to the chance when she said she needed someone to step up and help organize and contact the owner to work out details of the show. Now, I must tell you that I never have organized anything like this before, and I was nervous!! All I knew is if I want to own a gallery one day I needed to learn how all of this is done. I had to learn, and this was a great place to start! I told Patricia how new I was to the club, and how new I was to even the fine art realm of photography, and I had expressed how nervous I was about it. She was very comforting, and had a confidence in me. I don’t know, but she didn’t make me feel like I couldn’t make this happen.

Of course a lot of communication happens through emails. She gave me the gallery info, and told me I had to set up a meeting with the owner to discuss the show. I was at a loss as to what I should be asking him. Hahaha. I was busy, and I kept forgetting to call the owner. I finally did it last week. Not much time had past. I didn’t procrastinate too much. I called the gallery, and funny thing was, she was there. I spoke with her on the phone, and asked her really quick about the details I should be ironing out with him at the meeting. She gave a quick list, and I made sure to get all of that down so I didn’t forget.

I set up the meeting with the owner, and met up with him at the gallery Tuesday (07/16/2013) A small gallery, but he has been in business for 30 years. He must be doing something right. We discussed all aspects of the show. Some of the things to keep in mind when setting up an art show:

~How many pieces can fit in the space provided?

~Size limits of artwork

~Theme, if any

~Determine the commission the gallery gets from each sale

~Opening Day, how long the artwork will be up, and when it needs to be taken down.

~Invitation design, and when they need to go out

~How much time the gallery needs to display all the artwork

~When all artwork has to submitted to the gallery

~Price list to all artwork

~Printed bios from all artists

~Details of the opening (drinks/food/reception details)

~Mailing lists

Those were all the things discussed at this meeting. I definitely learned a great deal from this one meeting.

The Art show will be at Mehu Gallery.  Located at 21 W. 100^th street, New York, NY, 10025. Opening day is September 19^th, 2013. Artwork will be up till October 13^th. 

I’m really excited!! I haven’t decided what photographs to enter yet. I definitely will give it a ton of thought. The Junior/Scholarship committee is meeting next week so, there might be a theme, and there might not be one. Just in case before I decide what I want to enter I’ll wait to see if members want a specific theme/style/genre of artwork to be displayed.

I have to mention that Patricia being a friend of the gallery owner, and her being there when I called was funny enough,
but what this whole situation told me was that this committee, and the club was really to get us, the New Artist Members, the experience we are essentially looking for, and need to be successful artists. She could have just as easily set up this show herself. She provided the opportunity. It was up to one of us to step up. I must thank her for it, that’s for sure!

The Junior/Scholarship members have a show we have to set up to take place at the actual club.  Which is right on 5^th ave. We jury all artwork, and plan the show ourselves. The great thing about this show is that it’s a bit bigger, and all artists can enter artwork, not just Salmagundi members.  Another great thing is that it’s the first art show after the long awaited renovations are completed! We are the first show of the year, and the first to use the new gallery space in the club!

All this is very surreal to me. I love being involved, and having something like this to help me along my path to my own goals.  There’s a lot happening, and I couldn’t be happier.

Photographs: More than just a Moment.

I know that I have tackled the question of what makes a photographer. I get into a number of things that separate the fakes from the real deals. Now, I'm going to go a step further.

There are REAL photographers, than there are the photographers that change the world. These photographers are world renowned for a reason. They go way past the glamour. They have gone far beyond a comfort level many of us will never encounter, or understand. Their lives have actually been at risk. They go into the areas most wont.

Why?

Throughout my life, I have be able to see and do some great things. I set goals, and I achieve them. I remember how I set the goal to make it to Australia. Getting to Australia was a pipe dream. People from the lower east side of Buffalo barely get to the other side of town let alone to a country on the other side of the world! It was a long process, but I got there! I was extremely happy. I set out to do something, it was a hard road, but I finally made it. I was the happiest girl in the world. Once that happens, once goals are met I feel like something strange occurs within a person. I took care of me, I was having fun, doing what I wanted to do, but all I kept thinking was, "I want to do something that matters in the world." I wanted to, I don't know, make a difference, do something meaningful, or at least good ya know?  It was almost as if I was done living in my pleasure bubble.  I joined a conservation group while I was away on my exchange program in Australia. I got to plant trees! It was a small thing, but hey, trees are important!

That "I want to make a difference" feeling consumes several people around this globe. Photographers included. Successful photographers spend such a long time getting to their ultimate goal (whatever that may be) than they achieve their goals, and I think that's where the feeling to give back comes in.

How the hell CAN photographers make a difference in this world?

I've heard some photographers say, "Oh, all I do is just take pictures." I always hated to hear those types of things. I mentioned in previous posts how capturing a memory can really affect so many people. They'll have the memory for years to come. You, the photographer, created and made that image part of history. That person in their time of sorrow can look back at a loved one that has passed, and remember and re-live how beautiful they were. A person can be having the worst day of their lives, look at a picture, and feel just a little bit better. I will even go as far as to say that photographers have saved lives by preventing someone from committing suicide. These things, in fact have happened. If that isn't making a difference I don't know what is.

I went to a the NYC photo expo Fall 2012,  and I loved it! Of course I did. I saw a post card promoting this documentary about glaciers. The promotions kept mentioning how stunning the images were. I spent some time in Alaska so, I was immediately sold. I HAD to see this movie!! Without even knowing the true point to why this documentary was made. There was some specials screenings, I kept missing the ones they had in NYC. I kept checking where it would be playing. I finally saw it. I happen to find it late Sunday night (7/7/2013) on Netflix. I was tired, but as soon as I saw it, I was determined to stay up, and watch every minute.


The documentary was called "Chasing Ice." It is covering a photographer, James Balog on his mission to capture the current state and the continuing depletion of the world's glaciers. He has always felt very connected to nature, being able to capture it in a such an in-your-face way. But he also has done his research he gets into the science of it all. When you hear him speak in the documentary, his passion definitely comes across strong, and you begin to really feel how he feels. However, covering glaciers you're going to jump right into the Global Warming Controversy. Ya know, the whole... oh it was a big deal, but oh, now apparently scientists don't agree, wait a minute- there really isn't anything wrong with our Earth. Blah. Blah. Blah. I think the people who experienced Hurricane Sandy will beg to differ. I will refrain from getting too into all the crazy weather we have been having for the past few years. Balog sets out to actually document the amount the glaciers are receding. I could get into the science of it all, but I want you to watch it, and take it all in there. He wanted to take a picture once every hour (during daylight) for an extended period of time. I think he ended up doing somewhere around 3 years. and time-lapse all of it! Yes, its about an Ice survey. Yes, the images are absolutely breath taking. Yes, it was shot great. Yes, there is a great story here. BUT... what he does is provide crystal clear evidence of what is happening on our planet.



He was a photographer that wanted to show the world the problem. He wanted to alleviate all of the nonsense going around in the media, and maybe lessen the confusion that surronds this Global Warming issue. He wanted to make a difference. People dont know what to believe anymore, and he provided the proof. There are stills that are taken and you can compare one or two photos, but to see the evidence in this way hit a bit closer to home.

He's not the only photographer to ever do this. By no means. There are so many photographers' photos that have changed the way we have looked at social issues, and events happening on our planet. They've given the masses the reality check needed when the country was at war, and the American public was safely back home in their own little bubble totally oblivious to what is happening in the world wound them. They put the problems from around the globe right in the faces that refused to believe such horrible things were actually materializing, and lingering for years to come. They provide the shock value, and the dose of reality that needs to be had for the more advantaged in this country, and overseas.

Iraqi War Prisoner

Starving Child and Vulture

Napalm Accident Tragedy

The photographs above are famous for a reason. They are the reality no one wants to admit. There are a lot of things that exist in this world, and actions that are taking place right now that people do not want to realize. We have to live right?? We have to somehow be able to lead happy lives, be able to raise our kids, and think our children have a chance in this world. When I get to thinking about all the crazy messed up things in this world that are happening right as I type this, it is such an overwhelming feeling, and one of despair. It's because I can't fix any of it quickly. We all are part of the solution, and we can do small things to get to the goals we set for the world we live in. Whether its dealing with pollution, famine, war, or the climate change that is scaring the the crap out of everyone. We have to stop thinking "oh, I'm only (fill in the blank) I can't really do much." I don't believe that for a second. Each person is important, has a role, and affects a great deal throughout just a single day.

Never underestimate a passion, talent, or a love of something you want to do with your life.
Photographers don't just take photos, they directly affect the world around them.

The Photographer's Question

There have been hundreds of thousands of people... forget that... MILLIONS of people that find their art, and creativity in photography. People love it!! People have a passion for it. People see the world through a camera even when a viewfinder isn't lifted to their eye.

Something happens to a person once they snap the shutter, and they've captured a specific moment in time. Hell, maybe you dont feel that way about photography, but I do! Sometimes I just see something, an urge takes over, and I NEED to capture it. Even if it doesn't turn out to be the best photo ever I still needed to take that photo. I always go with my feelings when it comes to photography.

That relationship, or connection with pictures that I have probably comes from my parents. We've always put photos on our walls, either of just the family, or of a great sunset my father got to see while fishing. My mother always creates these cool scrapbook-esq pieces to put on our walls. I know thats where my love of scrap-booking comes from. There's just so much to do with photographs, and thats what makes this medium so great!

So, the passion is there. You have the creativity. Hell, you even have a camera. For those who want to become a photographer have to ask the question: How do I make a living doing this??

My generation has seen photographs go from just 35mm film to the whole Instagram situation! The transition to digital was mind blowing for everyone, I think. Everything became SO easy!!! Today, everyone is a photographer. Everyone that can get their hands on a smartphone and create an Instagram account, slaps some filters on their pictures calls themselves a photographer. Call me a snob, but I've had training in photography, and I feel like I've developed a style, and an eye for certain detail. I have practiced my photography, looked into techniques, ventured into what I think is art on a photography standpoint, and I'm sorry but Instagram?? If thats what in fact you are doing... YOU ARE NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER.

Being a photographer is far more than just taking a picture. Anyone can do that! Especially now, more than ever. So, what is it that sets the real Photographers a part from the fakes? Anyone can learn the equipment(depending on how quick you learn, and your ability to pick up on tech-y things.) We've already established anyone can actually take the picture. So, what do I think it is? There are so many out there utilizing our precious moments like our weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and even our children to make a buck and to call themselves photographers. These are the things we want captured. We want to re-live those great moments. We want to freeze our child in time to remember how cute they were at 4 years old, especially when they become that horrible, rebellious teen. I'm sure several people have encountered the terrible class photos, family portrait, or even wedding photos where you ended up wasting thousands of dollars. When things like this happen that's when you know not everyone can be a photographer. Mainly because you're pissed that you got shitty photos out of the deal.

There are many different types of photography out there, and I'd like to think that the beloved "Long-Arm photography" as I like to call it, is not a type of photography, but just the thing that those instagramers need to fulfill whatever attention needs they have. We live in a world of instant gratification now, and Instagram is just the thing to satisfy the needs of the attention-whore. I wont even get into the duck-face and bathroom mirror photos!!

Long Arm Photography!! 

See, even I've done it. 

I will not say that everyone on Instagram is talent-less. I have seen some great things on there!! I have always said that it doesn't matter what equipment you use to be a great photographer. I've seen some crazy impressive equipment owned by a half-assed photographer and didn't really impress me with what they produced. I've seen amazing things come from people that could only afford a cheap point and shoot. So, equipment does not make the photographer!


The Photographer's question isn't, "How Do I make a living doing this?" Now, it's "Am I REAL Photographer?" A great photographer is humble, and know thats there is always room for improvement. They never get to cocky either. They always work hard with the equipment they have, and they go with their instinct, and feeling when they take a photo. A great photographer has immaculate attention to detail. It's the difference between a ruined photograph when a photographer doesn't see that bra strap, or a lop-sided tie, or the garbage-can in the distance of a great landscape. A photographer that sees the tiniest detail, and the big picture, all at the same time! Knowing your equipment is half the battle, it doesn't have to be a Leica, but whatever you are using make sure you know how to produce the best picture possible. Knowing how to work with what you have is a great skill, and I'll go as far as to say thats even a talent.

When I think about how I take pictures, and if I am in fact a "Real Photographer" I often wonder if I passed the bar, or are up to par, or whatever measurement you want to use. Do I measure it by how many people say they love my work? Do I base it off of how much I sell? I'm not really sure. I do appreciate the eye that I have. I think that composition, and whatever you put in that frame is the most important. It doesn't matter if you had a bad camera, you were freezing, and couldn't achieve a steady hand, or that person just photo-bombed your picture. If you have a vision make sure it makes the frame exactly the way you wanted it to.

Capturing a moment is one thing, but if you can capture that moment, the emotion, and make someone else, even a total stranger, feel that emotion years later from looking at it than it goes way beyond just snapping the shutter. When you can do that you can then say yes, I am a REAL Photographer.

I like the Black and White!

One on-Going Project I have going is this NYC black and white project.

So, what do I mean Black and White? When I look at things I feel like I always see things in photograph form. I can see the composition constantly. When I see a photo with my eyes, and the urge strikes "Yes, you need to take a picture" thats exactly what I need to do.

Sometimes while walking around the city on my everyday errands I see colors that just stand or POP out. For me, the color black is such a striking color, and very aesthetically pleasing to my eye. It's my favorite color. I dont know why. It just is. The color black happens naturally in a lot of ways in the city, and I wanted to capture that. I didnt want to make just make some regular black and white photo. I love black and White photography, but I wanted to find black and whites that were already there.

I'm real big on contrast too. I want things to be striking!! I love black and whites. I am really into the giant contrast between the two. I love the combination. To find that combination in the city is a bit more challenging. This project is definitely in progress. I think as I go along my end result may change, morph, and develop into something I am not aware of now. Who knows?? But thats the beauty of art!!

Here a few examples of what I mean. These aren't edited. Once I think I am done shooting this than I will go into my editing stage.

Those are just a few examples of where I am going with this. I really wanted to avoid the continuous picture of texts, signs, and things of that nature. The nails picture isn't really a Black and White per se, but I liked it. I may include the grey areas into this whole project. I'm not sure. I took the picture so, it has to be connected in some way. I'll find the connection down the line somewhere.